Are You There God? It's Me, Danielle.

I feel like I have to put a disclaimer on this because inevitably someone will take what I say personally, or the wrong way. Below I share some thoughts about religion (my lack of actually) and nothing I say is meant to question your beliefs or you as a person. These are just my thoughts and my own experiences, and it's important to me that you know that I respect ALL of you, all of your beliefs, and your right to practice, or to not practice any religion you so choose. The beauty of this world is that we are all so different, and I love that this is a safe place for me to share pieces of my life. Thank you.

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There isn't much talk in blog-land about being a non-believer. There's a lot of religious talk, a lot of "I believe," and many beautiful sentiments about life and thoughts and talk of whatever god people want to put their faith into. But there isn't a lot about the lack of god or lack of belief from the other side. I am one of that other side, someone who doesn't follow a religion, and someone who isn't really sure if they believe in anything, really. I believe in Science, if that counts. But as far as a god, or an afterlife, or even a higher power of any kind, I'm not sure. And my "not sure" leans a lot more towards no.

It's kind of scary to put that out there, when I know that it's easy to judge, but it is what it is and that's me. I have plenty of close friends who are religious, and plenty who aren't. In my world it doesn't make a difference to me what you believe in, just that you are a good person with a kind heart.

I grew up Catholic, going to a big, beautiful church in our New Jersey town. I was baptized as a baby, received Communion in the 2nd grade, and was confirmed in the 7th. I can still recite the entire Catholic mass, beginning to end, and have vivid memories of the confessional, memorizing the Ten Commandments, and even scary Monsignor Donovan who would slap your cheek if you took Communion the wrong way. I loved Church growing up, but not for any reason other than I thought that all of the rituals were fun, and I enjoyed hearing the stories each Sunday in class. Most of our friends attended with us, and I even had my first kiss right outside of those big wooden doors in the 6th grade.

We moved to Arizona when I was 14 and we went to a new church a few times, but my Mom stopped making us go, so eventually we stopped going all together. My Dad was actually born and raised in South America, where he traveled with his Reverend father and missionary family translating the bible, but by the time he became a parent himself he had taken a few steps back. My Mom was raised Catholic and attended a very strict private Catholic school and at that point still attended church on special occasions, but without the pull of our friends and our holiday traditions, we all slowly stopped attending.

In college I met quite a few friends who considered themselves atheists. For awhile I thought I could identify with that group, but I soon figured out that labeling myself as that was the same as labeling myself a believer. I wasn't sure either way. And at the same time I wasn't really agnostic because I wasn't sure if I believed in anything at all.

Maybe it's weird but this has never been a big deal to me. I'm not searching to figure it out, and to be honest, religion (or my lack of), doesn't cross my mind most of the time. Recently it's only been a bit more in the forefront as the election looms closer and there's this huge debate regarding the separation church and state, but for the most part it's a non-issue. At times I feel like it would be a bit easier to have a religion, to have faith in something. But at this point in my life, and maybe for always, I know that's not for me. If I had to really talk about my beliefs, what I think really happens when we die, I look towards physics and science and astronomy. I look to people like Carl Sagan, who I find to be incredibly inspiring, and whose words almost always make me think. Science is my jam. And on the other side of the coin I gravitate towards some Buddhist principles too. Really, I am open to the possibility that one day I might say, "Oh, hi there God. So there you are." And I'm also open to the fact that it's highly possible that when I die, I just die.

In a way, I think this outlook has allowed me to be fully in the now. This is my one chance to live and to love this life with everything I've got. At the end of the day I can say to the universe, "THANK YOU," and maybe someone's listening, and maybe they aren't. But I have gratitude, I have a love in my heart for every single day I am given on this Earth, and for now, that's enough for me.

I'll leave you with one of Hank and my very favorite quotes from Ann Druyan, best known as the wife of the late Carl Sagan:

"When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me — it still sometimes happens — and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous — not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… That pure chance could be so generous and so kind… That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time… That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful…

The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful."

Snapshots from our week

We've been busy busy in our neck of the woods. Hank flew in from Florida late last night and now we are finally back home after a few weeks of bouncing back and forth from Phoenix. I'm looking forward to a good three to four weeks of no major traveling and I'm excited to just be at home, relaxing in my pajamas and catching up on emails and posts. And just so you have a mental image, my pajamas just happen to be a Britney Spears concert tee and Christmas pj pants. I'm looking so good right now.

I thought I'd share some snapshots from the past week or so- just little bits and pieces from here and there. I'm kicking myself for not taking my regular camera out and about, but these iphone photos aren't too bad. I promised myself though, that from here on out I am taking my camera everywhere! Katie definitely inspired me with her post about it, and I'm on board. I miss having a million photos of everything I do and everything I love, so this weekend I'll be jumping back into focusing on that.

I hope all of you had a great week too, and have a fun weekend planned.

Tuesday night.

Hello, Tuesday night! So, where to begin? First of all, I am typing this with my computer kind of propped up on its side because the charging port on my laptop is shot, and the only way it will charge is if it's at a particular angle. I usually try to charge it, then use it, but I forgot to do that so here I am in this silly position typing away. Secondly, yesterday was tattoo day! Cory tattooed me for almost five hours and it was horrible. At first I was feeling like it wasn't too bad- I think I even mentioned on Instagram that that spot wasn't terrible- but a couple hours into it I started hating everything. And five hours later I vowed to never get tattooed again. This whole thing happens almost every time, but I always somehow manage to forget the pain before the next time rolls around. With that said though, I do think this may just be the last bigger piece I get. I don't have any other large spaces I want to fill, so the only other tattoos I can see myself wanting are for future children. But we'll see. We didn't finish it (we have another hour left), so I'll post a good photo of the whole thing once it's completed. And for those who don't follow me on IG (username: danihampton), I got a portrait of my favorite poet, Sylvia Plath.

And then tonight was the Madewell event, which was really fun. I got to meet some super sweet readers and new friends, had a bunch of my favorite people stop by, and Henry, my Mom, and sister came too. Henry was a ball of energy and it's hilarious to me to see him turn on his "ham" side when he's in a group of people. It was a great night and I'll share some photos of that later on when I get back to my regular computer.

As for now, sleep calls. Last night was a BAD night of sleep so I'm really looking forward to hopefully getting a full seven or eight hours. Poor little Henry somehow wet the crib, and woke up screaming in the middle of the night. Even after the sheet was changed and he was in fresh pajamas, he did not want to go back in. I tried for a good hour to calm him down, but anytime I went to put him back to bed he would freak out. So I brought him into bed with me, which is always a gamble, and he didn't sleep much at all for a couple of hours. And when he did finally fall asleep I couldn't get any rest because I was so worried about him rolling off the bed without Hank on the other side. I felt terrible this morning from being awake all night, but on the other side of the coin it was so nice to just cuddle with him. We stopped co-sleeping at 6 months so it's always so, so sweet and special when he's in the bed with us.

And now speaking of bed I'm going to cut this short because I am falling asleep while I type! Goodnight!

Happy, today.

 5 Things making me happy, today:

1. You've Got Mail being on television- is there anything better than Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan? Answer: no. Tom Hanks is probably my favorite actor of all time, and in my opinion, this movie in particular is one of his very best...and one of my all-time favorites!

2. And on the subject of Tom Hanks (a phrase I never imagined would be used here, and also on my twitter 2x yesterday), something else TH-related that also makes me happy is a little joke Hank and I played on my parents' the other night. They know I'm getting tattooed Monday, but didn't know what, so we convinced them I was getting Tom Hanks' portrait tattooed on my thigh. My Dad was so weirded out kind of disgusted, and my Mom tried her best to be sweet and ask questions like "so why would you get that? I've never heard you mention really liking him before! ...but I'm sure it will be lovely!" We let it go on for awhile before telling them we were kidding, but it was hilarious and made me laugh until my cheeks hurt.

3. New friends. It's so hard making real friendships as an adult, and although I have so many great girls in my life, I don't have many who live close by. Since becoming a Mom I've met some amazing new mama friends who have little ones that are Henry's age! There's nothing better than being able to sit and talk and relate so much to one another, and best of all, I'd be friends with these girls even if we didn't have the whole motherhood thing in common.

4. Reading. If you follow my blog regularly you know I love television. I don't even try and hide it, and in the words of my mother "I just love my shows!" But I only have so much "free time" once Henry goes to bed, and honestly, there are better things to do than binge-watch Sons of Anarchy (although there aren't many better things). I usually go through phases of reading and most months I'll be super into it, choosing to read over watching television before bed. That makes me feel the happiest and the most fulfilled. This has been one of those months. It helps to have a huge list of books to work through and I'm so happy to be in the middle of a couple good novels.

5. Shows. Music has always been the biggest part of my life, and Hank's too, but recently we had this whole realization that we hadn't been to a show or seen a band play in far too long. It's weird (and I guess slightly cheesy) just how alive seeing a favorite band play makes me feel. So since we had that conversation we've gone to a few shows and had the best time. Last night we went and saw The Swellers play in a venue I spent a lot of time in when I was younger, and it was weird being there, and being 30 and not a teenager. It's bizarre, and while we watched one of the very young opening bands I couldn't help but get emotional thinking about how wonderful it is that all of these kids have a place to go and be themselves too. I think this whole topic deserves another, longer post from me, but for now I'll leave it at how happy it makes me feel that we've been going to a few shows here and there.

I'm off to the gym now, and then to get tattooed later on! I'm not looking forward to the actual process, but this one is a particularly special one and I've been looking forward to it for some time. I'll share some photos tomorrow. Have a great Monday! xo

Hello, Friday morning!

What took me so long to listen to my Mom and finally go lighter? It's not the hugest change, but I still feel like it makes a big difference.

Hello, Friday morning! It's 9am, I'm currently at my parents' house, and I just put a cranky Henry down for his morning nap and I'm sitting in my old bedroom.  For the longest time my parents' left my room exactly as I had left it when I went away to college. There were pictures on every shelf, books stacked on top of more books, and all of my extra clothing stored in the closet. It was always weird to come back to- it was like a time capsule in a way- my high school life staring right at me each weekend I spent time here. But now it's all put away, the walls have been painted over, the shelves have come down. It's still so funny though, to be able to open up these big closet doors and take a box down and look back through all of those memories. I even have shoeboxes full of notes from junior high. Bizarre.

In other news, tonight begins the start of my 30th birthday weekend! My birthday isn't actually until next Tuesday but today Andy flies in from Seattle, so we'll be doing dinner and RITA'S ITALIAN ICE (all caps necessary, of course) tonight with Anita before the actual party starts tomorrow. I'm so excited to have almost all of my closest girlfriends in one place at one time and I feel like my heart may burst from happiness. I don't know any of the details- it's a half-surprise party- but I do know that we're doing manis/pedis first, then heading over to the resort. What resort we're staying at, I have no clue, but knowing that Hank, Shirley and Autumn planned it I'm sure it's going to be awesome. Such a treat!

Lately I've been feeling just so happy. And not my normal, life-is-good happy, but a happy that's coming from this deep part of me that feels like "this is it." Does that make sense? I feel like I always had this dream or idea of what I had hoped would happen in my life, and as many times as I felt lost or that I'd never figure it out...I'm here, living it. And I'm sure it has to do with my impending birthday but I'm just feeling extra-thoughtful and very, very thankful for everything. It sure isn't perfect, but it's perfect to me, and while I sit here in my old room it's so much easy to see how far I've come, thinking back through all the memories this place is a part of.

So. I'm going to abruptly change the subject here and talk about a couple (and some silly) things I'm loving right now:

1. The Bachelorette. Okay this I think I might say this every season (except Jason's season because he was really annoying), but this one is my favorite. I really love Emily and think she has some great guys. My number one pick is that adorable Jef. Isn't he cute? How about you- do you have a favorite?

2. I do this thing where I eat the same lunch everyday until I get sick of it. I'll usually go about a week and then switch off, but this particular lunch has been happening for about a week and a half now. Are you ready for this amazing-ness? I cook a Dr. Praeger's California Veggie burger, then take an Ezekial tortilla (one of my favorite food items in the whole world), sprinkle some cheese on half of it, plop the cooked veggie burger on it and kind of mash it down to be flat on that half of the tortilla, then cook it like a quesadilla. Then I'll open it and add a ton of veggies, fold it up like a big taco and enjoy. It's seriously so good.

3. The Great Gatsby. I am so excited about this movie, and I'm excited that Baz Luhrmann did it. I have a huge soft spot for this adaptation of Romeo and Juliet (although the Zefirelli version will always be my number one), and I think it looks awesome. I taught the book to my sophomores many times, and I'm looking forward to see what this adaptation looks like.

And now I'm going to abruptly change the subject again to wish all of you a great weekend! I am pushing my summer reading list part two to post in a couple of weeks, so keep your eyes peeled for that. And can I mention for a second how much I am loving this series? I really enjoy that it's such a short little post, but it packs a little punch with those pretty photos! I love seeing what books these women pick as they email their posts to me, and I have about a hundred amazing folks lined up to share their choices over the next months.

So now I'm off to try and get ready before Henry wakes up (poor little guy is teething like crazy), but I'm sending you a million happy weekend wishes! xoxo

edited to add: I got a few question in the comments about the dress I have on. It's from Target! I think it's even in the sale section right now. :)

Today is for...

Today is for...

-making a trip to Costco. I've been avoiding this for the past couple of weeks and this morning my procrastinating self realized we are down to four diapers. Oops! So we are off to one of my least favorite shopping stops. I'm not sure why I dislike it so much- when I was younger I used to love it actually. Huge carts, those magical free samples, and that $1.50 hot dog/soda combo? Count me in! But now the people who push each other out of the way to get those "magical" samples kind of stress me out, and my boring, adult self would not enjoy eating a hot dog, and definitely not drinking a soda. My, how times have changed. But Costco-complaining aside, today's first order of business and taking a little trip there.

-finishing up my summer reading list to share with all of you. Last night I got lost on Amazon, down a worm hole of "recommendations for you," then "people who bought this, also bought this," clicking around for a couple of hours. I found SO many great books I can't wait to read this summer, and I can't wait to share them. So look for that post later tonight or tomorrow evening.

-spending all our time inside. Due to the fire up here in Northern Arizona that is continuing to grow, our air is full of smoke and it's just not feasible to spend time outside. We have to sleep with our windows closed and the second you step outside you can even see the smoke in the air. It's so sad to think about our beautiful forests being destroyed. Here's to hoping they get it under control soon.

-setting my intention and following through. Every hot yoga class my instructor encourages us to set an intention for our practice. I usually work towards being kind to myself- doing the best I can and just letting it be what it is. If I'm really shaky or have trouble with a pose or flow I try to accept it and move through it. Sometimes in class I'll find my inner critic speaking up and letting my mind wander, but lately I've been doing so much better at just being and doing, rather than analyzing it. Other times my intention is to relax, to focus on my breath, or to simply just enjoy. I love the idea and have been implementing it into my mornings also. My alarm usually goes off at 5am, and while I lie in bed I set an intention for the day. Lately I've been really working on loving others- accepting people rather than making snap judgements, trying to see the best in people rather than the worst. Sometimes I find myself being judgey in my mind and it's upsetting- it's something I'm working on and I've found that really focusing on it as a day-to-day intention has been great. This morning for example I woke up and decided that today my intention is to be loving, both to myself and everyone around me. Simple and a wonderful thing to focus on.

So that's my day today! Henry is finishing up his breakfast, and then we are off to Costco to get those diapers. Wish us luck so we don't come home with a 100-pack of frozen waffles or a new leaf blower. Or worse, a pack of two leaf blowers. Because you know how Costco is- suddenly a huge bulk bag of this or that seems like a good idea when blinded by the florescent lighting and lost amidst the giant shelves! And on a side but related note, we've tried so many different kinds of disposable diapers and the Costco diapers are really the best. I love them. Just had to throw that out there.

Happy day to you!

Little bits of memory

I can still remember the beginning. That nervous anticipation during those first few long drives to visit Hank, my hands tapping on the steering wheel, my eyes in the rear view mirror checking and rechecking to see if I still looked alright. It was the beginning of our relationship and we lived two and a half hours apart, so I would often find myself making the trek from Phoenix, up the I-17 and into the mountains. That very first drive up is still so fresh in my mind; the Jets to Brazil I had on the stereo, my cracked window, the fresh August air that evening, and me, trying to relax when I was so, so nervous. It almost seemed too good to be true- everything was falling slowly into place, somehow. And then, after talking for hours and hours every night for weeks, writing so many letters back and forth, and finally going on our first date, Hank had invited me up to visit him in his little town. 

It's strange to go back to the beginning of us. It will be eight years this summer and parts of it seem so far away, and yet other moments I can remember in such crisp detail. If I think back I can still see Hank's first date outfit- his jeans, his American Nightmare hoodie, those Vans. I can immediately recall a handful of mornings waking up with him to the Weakerthans he set for our alarm, tangled blankets and tattooed limbs. I can remember the night Hank asked me to marry him, the way the stars shined so, so brightly in that clear February night, the way my breath blew out like smoke and our voices echoed in the empty square. I think back to our first apartment, the smell of new paint and cardboard boxes, and our second, the smell of fresh cut grass through the open windows. I can go back to our wedding day and remember looking down the aisle at Hank through the yellow and the white and all of our family and friends, all the way to the very end, to him waiting there for me. And I can see him when Henry was born, joy filling every corner of his face.

Memories are funny things. They change over time, they shift, they adapt. We keep what we want, small segments of our days, and the rest dissipates into a hazy fog. I hold tight to the things I want to remember- I take a second and try to capture it, all of it. My memories often feel so cloudy, floating in my mind, but then I'll be reminded of something, and one crystal clear moment will bob to the top, up and down, little bits and pieces becoming more clear.  With Hank I have eight years of these memories, good times and bad, trips and vacations and so much togetherness. My life has a distinct marker, a before and an after, and it's amazing to think about everywhere we've been, and to imagine everywhere we're going. And sometimes, when the weather is just right, I can crack my window, turn up the music, and I'm right back there again, 21-years-old at the very beginning.

Lucky

Sometimes I feel like I might be stranger than most people because I think about morbid things like death or loss a little too much. I don't know if you're like this too, but sometimes in a super happy moment or time I'll think about how it won't always be like this and how things always won't be so good. Weird, right? It's only for a second though, but in a way I think it almost helps me really enjoy those good times because I'm hyper-aware of them happening. Sometimes I'll start thinking about this with my parents and it brings me to tears. I recently lost my Grandma and it's bizarre to think about one day losing my own parents. It feels weird to even vocalize this kind of thing here, but it was on my mind as I've spent the past few days with my sweet mama and enjoyed every second of it. I love her SO much, so so much. I can't imagine my world without her, and I can't even begin to think about losing my Mom, like my Dad did a few months ago. So I keep focusing on the now, on the little moments I have with my parents. I take it all in. The way my Mom always seems to have a piece of dark chocolate in her hand anytime after 8pm, how my Dad will always wash my car on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I relish in the hugs and kisses my Mom gives me, even when I pretend to hate it, like my 16-year old self. I love my Dad's tough shell but sweet, sweet heart and my Mom's constant sunshine. I pay attention to the small details, the "make sure you call us when you get home," the "be safe" my Dad always has to say as his last words as we pull out of their driveway, and the way Henry runs to my Mom, arms outstretched, "up up up!"  I take in every single little bit I can, because I know one day it won't be like this. And maybe I'm really weird for having these thoughts, but in a way I'm grateful for them because they remind me to be in the now, and to really pay attention. I never want to take a moment of it for granted.

A little hello/update!

a whole bunch of randomness- polkadots make everything better // visiting the ducks with  Henry // storytime with Grandpa // visiting Adie at work // books and more books // my go-to dinner, a  sweet potato with cheese and broccoli // my favorite treat, an In-N-Out protein style cheeseburger //  Henry at  our local playplace today, where our playgroup had a fun get together //  getting bloodwork done this afternoon

Happy Pi Day! I actually just exclaimed, "it's Pi Day and we didn't eat any pie!" to my Mom, who is here visiting for a couple of days. I was legitimately upset about it until Hank reminded me that we ate pizza for dinner...which is a pie, right? So all is well again in the world; Pie Day was celebrated.  And speaking of this special "holiday," I can still remember back to all of the wonderful Pi Days I had in college. That sounds so weird- "all of the wonderful Pi Days I had in college" (what?!), but being a Pi Phi, we always celebrated when March 14th came around. I have such fun/funny memories of eating pie in the chapter room with all of my sorority sisters and I still smile thinking back to so many good times we had over those four years. One of these days I'll write more about that experience!

In other news, tomorrow I have to get a cat scan and chest x-ray. Fun, right? To be honest I'm actually relieved to finally be getting some answers, or at least taking action towards getting answers. I talked about being sick a little bit in this post, but since then I haven't felt any better, and my weird symptoms haven't lessened at all either. I don't exactly feel ill; I'm more so just extremely tired all the time, and paired with some other things that are going on I finally decided to see yet another doctor and try and get to the bottom of it. To make a long story short, the doctor was a little concerned with some stuff going on in my neck/throat area and ordered the scans. So that's what I'm doing tomorrow...so think of me at 10:15am!

In other, better, non-illness news, I've had an LA trip planned for months, and this weekend it's finally here. I was a bit worried I wouldn't feel my best, and even though I don't, I'm still going to go and enjoy some relaxation time with girlfriends. This trip was planned way before the method San Francisco trip came about and I feel guilty leaving again so soon, but I am going to just enjoy my time and focus on not wondering about the results of the tests I'll get back next week.  We have a fun weekend ahead of us- lots of touristy things, good food, and most of all, great quality girl time with two of my favorite people. Someone just please tell my body to not be tired or feel out of it, because I've got plans!

Some other things I'm loving right now: my Mom being in town (I wish my parents lived closer), the Bachelor finale (I actually ended up liking Courtney), and the new Trader Joe's in town (I've already gone twice).

As for now, I am headed off to bed. My Mom, Henry and I are going food shopping in the morning to get some chili-making supplies, I have my radiologist appointment, and then I am looking forward to some outdoor time. I'm hoping for a beautiful day, and I hope you have one too!

On my mind today...

photo from last night- seriously, look how BIG Henry looks! I can't even believe it...

Happy Wednesday everyone!  I've kept relatively quiet about how sick I've been the past few days but I am finally feeling a tiny bit better so I'd thought I'd share. On Saturday I went to Urgent Care upon returning home from San Francisco and was diagnosed with bilateral ear infection. FUN! Not really. I had actually been having intense headaches for a couple of weeks, along with strange neck pain but I attributed it to stress and tried to ignore it. Flying home made me feel a lot worse so as soon as I landed and made it to my parents' Hank took me to the doctor. The doctor at the Urgent Care put me on antibiotics, but on Tuesday I woke up with a 102.5 temperature. I went to a doctor here in town and he thought that I probably had strep, although my culture would probably come back as negative due to the antibiotics I'd been taking since Saturday. He advised me to finish up the pills, and come back in a week if I was still sick to rule out any other viruses (like mono, ugh!). Anyway, to make a long story short I am still on antibiotics, still feeling terrible, but not as terrible. So that's good. I will say that since weaning Henry I feel like my body has been totally out of sync, from my skin to just overall health. I don't know if that is a normal thing that all Moms experience, but I have never been sick this many times in such a short period of time! So right now I'm just trying to focus on taking it easy and letting my body heal.

In other news, it's so good to be home! I love traveling, but nothing beats coming home to your house, your family, your sweet puppy! I have one more trip planned in two weeks and then that's it for a long time.  I sometimes feel like an unplanned weekend is way too rare around these parts, and I really think we should focus more on having them. Due to me feeling so sick I think this weekend will be one of those, and I'm happy to just relax, relax, relax.

Here are some other things on my mind right now:

1. KONY 2012.

This is all over the internet today, which is awesome...but then I started to research a bit more. I have actually worked with Invisible Children in the past- my last group of seniors had chosen them as one of our outreach organizations for a semester project- but hadn't done much research into their organization as a whole. Whenever I see a large group of people behind something, especially when something goes viral like the Kony 2012 video, I always want to question and learn more about it. This morning I even posted a photo supporting the Stop Kony movement with a link to the video, but after doing a bit of digging decided to take it down, primarily because I didn't feel I had enough information about IC to represent them, and what I did find left me with a lot of questions. The fact that they are bringing this issue to light is wonderful, but I just don't feel comfortable promoting an organization that I am so unsure about. If anything, researching it has left me more confused. At the root of it though, awareness is the most important thing, and they've accomplished that. I'm sure that millions of people who didn't know who Joseph Kony was yesterday, know who he is today. But what I did learn from tweeting about my IC-confusion...is not to tweet about political things ever again. People sure take it personally when you question something they believe in, and although I got a lot of valuable feedback, I was also left feeling like I was so wrong for even wanting to know more. Remind me to stay off of Twitter during the election, please! I don't know if I can take it...

2. The Hunger Games movie

Now I feel kind of weird jumping from a very important topic to something about a movie, but I can't help but write about how excited I am for this premiere. Every single time I watch the trailer I get the chills. I absolutely loved the books, and from what I've seen the movies are going to be awesome. I know it might be hard to judge from a 2 minutes clip but the overall feeling I get is that the film going to portray the book pretty well.  I was contemplating getting midnight tickets on opening night, but I'm so weird about crowded movie theaters that I'll probably wait and see a 9am showing on Sunday or something, along with my Mom and sister. Are any of you planning on seeing the movie? How about the midnight premiere?

3.  Trader Joe's

Another reason to celebrate...Trader Joe's is opening in our little town on FRIDAY. Yes, this Friday. Hank and I have been freaking out pretty much everyday, and last night while food shopping we kept saying "well, we could buy this now...or wait until Friday and buy it at Trader Joooeeee's!" All said in a whispered tone of course, since we were in our local natural foods store, and didn't want to have anyone hear us talking about their competition in such a way! However TJ's will always win for us- there's really no competition- and we feel so happy and lucky we will have one of our very own! I can't wait.

What's been on your mind today? I hope whatever it is, you've had a happy day full of good stuff. And if today wasn't so good, I hope tomorrow is better!

*As always I welcome ALL opinions, but if you do chime in via the comments please keep them respectful and kind. I always feel like I need to add this here if a post takes a political turn, since people tend to have emotion invested in those types of topics. HOWEVER if you leave a comment saying you hate The Hunger Games I will delete you and block you from my blog forever. Those kind of opinions are simply not welcome. ;)

a little hello!

Henry and I have been spending some time in Phoenix this week before I head to San Francisco on Thursday, and I've had so much fun the past few days being able to see my Phoenix friends, hang out with family, and act like I'm 16-years old again. What? You don't revert to your teenage self whenever you spend an extended amount of time at "home?" It's seriously funny to me because last night I found myself on my parents' couch, eating some chips out of a paper towel (typical "Hawthorne" snacking style), yelling "Mommmmmmm! Can you get me a glass of water???" to my mother in the kitchen, while watching The Bachelor in my pajamas. The only difference between my 16-year old self and my current 29-year old self is that there was a baby monitor next to me.  I don't know what it is, but being here makes me feel like I'm right back in high school again.

Anyway, Henry and I ventured out to the mall today so I could try and find an outfit to wear this weekend. We had no luck, of course. Why is it that when you are looking for something specific it's impossible to find anything, but when you have no agenda it seems as though there are cute things everywhere you look?  Henry actually did get a few new fun things at H&M, so it wasn't a total flop. He is finally kind of okay with hats (kind of meaning he doesn't rip them off as if I've placed a burning piece of cloth on his head) so I'm hoping the clearance-priced beanie I bought for him will work. A couple random thoughts from today:

1. The elevator system at Scottsdale Fashion Square is pretty much the worst thing ever. PCLL? 1st Floor? 1st Floor Barney's? I'm so confused. Once the elevator made it's way down to us I ended up just pressing all the buttons and hoping for the best. I can't even believe I used to work there, or more so, how I ever made it to work on time!

2. I wish I could take naps. I have never been one of those people who can take a nice little 30-minute nap in the middle of the day and wake up refreshed. I occasionally find myself trying to be a nap person, but I either end up sleeping for Henry's entire 2-3 hour nap and cause myself to stay up hours later that night, or I stick to the 30 minutes, wake up groggy, and still can't sleep that night. It's a lose-lose for me. But on days like today where I feel exhausted out of my mind come 3pm, a nap would be so nice!

3. I have really, really loved reading all of the 11 Things posts around the internet! Some of the girls I've tagged have completed it, so check them out if you get a moment - Jen, Jess, Katie, Kaelah, and Mandy.

4. And finally, today was my Dad's 66th birthday! He's really the best guy I know (tied with Hank of course) and I feel so lucky to have such a good relationship with him. It's been amazing seeing him as a Grandpa and to watch him and Henry grow so close. It's really the best. Happy birthday, Dad!

11 Things

One of my most favorite bloggers Lauren tagged me in her 11 Things post, and unlike my typical non-participating self, I thought I would actually do this one!  Thanks, Lauren! :)

There are five rules:
1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.
3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post.
4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you've tagged them.

11 Random Things:

1. I LOVE rap and hip hop. In fact most of the time I blog, workout, and drive I am listening to rap. When Henry is with me I usually try to stick to more kid-friendly things of course, but when it's just me, 75% of the time I am listening to it. Some of my favorites: Tribe, Wu-Tang, Aesop Rock, Dead Prez, Biggie, Too $hort, and stuff like Lil Wayne, Jay-Z and Drake too. I could go on and on. Many people are surprised to learn this about me.

2. I am afraid of birds. Crows are the worst and they make my stomach turn when I see them. Their oily feathers, beady eyes and pointy beak completely freak/gross me out. I attribute my fear of birds to seeing these huge turkey vultures perched on the soccer goalposts at the elementary school my Mom taught at while we were growing up. The adults always warned us to never lay down for fear the buzzards would think we were dead and swoop down and peck us! Terrifying. That, paired with a very early viewing of The Birds, has scarred me for life.

3. When I like a song I will listen to it over and over again until I finally get sick of it. It's a bad habit but I can't seem to break it. I'm sure people who follow me via Spotify are like "why is she listening to the same song, all day, everyday?"

4. If I could live anywhere in the United States I would choose Vermont. It's my most favorite vacation spot in the world, and it's just the most magical place. My Aunt and Uncle live right on Lake Champlain and every summer Hank and I fantasize about permanently extending our vacation. I love how green it is, I love the beautiful scenery, the vibe, the people...and even the insane winters. I think it makes the summers that much more enjoyable.

5. Being a stay-at-home Mom is the most fulfilling "job" I have ever had. A lot of people in my life have been really, really surprised that I chose to stay home with Henry and would love to keep on staying home, life's circumstances-permitting. I loved college and got my Bachelor's and Master's pretty quickly (both by the time I was 23) and before I became a Mom I was very into the idea of pursuing a PhD. It may sound crazy to some, but I get so much joy from staying home and taking care of my family that at this point in my life I would love to just keep doing what I'm doing for a long while.

6. I have a weird thing where I remember every word to every song. It's bizarre. I'll hear a song once, and somehow I know all the words. It used to drive Autumn crazy in college because we'd be out and literally any song that came out I would know.

7. I cry often. I am the biggest sap and I tear up at basically anything- commercials, the way Henry laughs, Hank being sweet- and I find myself getting happy emotional over something at least once a day.

8. If I could eat one sweet treat the rest of my life, it would be Cadbury Mini Eggs. Are you familiar with them? They're the little eggs with the candy shell and milk chocolate inside, in the purple bag. I don't know what it is but I love these things so much and have been obsessed since I was a kid. I never, ever buy them for our house (I have no self-control when it comes to them!), but my Mom always keeps a bag around during Easter and it's such a treat whenever we are at her house. They are beyond delicious.

9. I was born and raised in a small New Jersey town and have such NJ pride. I think it's the best, and we typically go back and visit every summer. Before Hank met me he thought all of New Jersey was like the Newark he saw from his tour van while passing through on the turnpike. He had no idea how beautiful it really is, and now he's in love with it too! We can't get enough of the boardwalk, Island Beach State park, and all of the gorgeous green forests. It's such a wonderful place.

10. I have a bad, bad addiction to reality television. Our DVR is full of my favorites: The Bachelor, ALL of The Real Housewives, Real World, Teen Mom, Bethenny (and basically every other Bravo show), Sister Wives, MTV's True Life...the list goes on. I seriously love it and love meeting people who are into my favorite shows too. It's so fun to discuss them and nerd out.

Questions from Lauren:

1. If you had to wear skirts for the rest of your life, or jeans for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
A few years ago I would have answered skirts, but now I'd definitely say jeans. Can I choose my maternity skinny jeans? So comfortable.

2. What was your favorite PBS kids show growing up? 
Reading Rainbow for sure.

3. Who is cooler? Zack Morris or Cory Matthews? 
Zack Morris. I grew up watching Saved By The Bell!

4. What is your least favorite smell in the world? 
Hmmm, I'd have to say dirty feet or shoes. Gross.

5. What's the worst injury you have ever had? 
I tore my ACL and meniscus playing soccer on my club team in high school.

6. What book have you read more than once? 
So many. The most times though? Probably The Crucible.

7. What do you take the most photos of? 
Henry, of course!

8. What is the first perfume you ever purchased/wore? 
hahah. Either Luvs Baby Soft or Sunflowers. SO junior high!

9. What is your ideal date? 
Getting take out Mexican or Thai and curling up on the couch with Hank, watching a movie. We are total homebodies.

10. Tell me your favorite thing about the state you live in. 
All of the charming small towns and beautiful scenery.

11. Most frequented website? 
right now: Pinterest!


Questions for the ladies I will be tagging:
1. If money, schooling or time was no obstacle, what career would you choose?
2. What's the one thing you look forward to every day?
3. What is your number one, all-time, favorite blog?
4. Biggest online pet peeve?
5. What is your all-time favorite book?
6. What would your "last meal" be?
7. Do you believe in love at first site?
8. What would your ideal Sunday morning consist of?
9. Why do you blog?
10. If you had to choose one color to wear forever, what would you pick?
11. What is your all-time favorite band?

And finally, I tag: Amber Joy, Jess,  James, Mandy, Jen, Kaelah, Melissa, Katie, and Katie...and ANYONE who wants to participate (link me so I can check out your answers too!).

Sick day!

my dearest girlfriends for 10+ years, celebrating on Saturday night: Autumn, Erin, Shirley, me, and Alana.

I think sick days should be outlawed on Mondays. Poor Hank...we had the best weekend but then last night around 7pm his stomach started bothering him. We made it home, but around 1am the throwing up started. Yuck. I feel terrible to see him sick, but luckily he was able to stay home today and recuperate. Needless to say it's been a long day taking care of my two guys but now both of them are napping and I thought I'd take a moment to type out a little update.

The weekend was great, and we got to celebrate three of our friends' 30th birthdays on Saturday night. Erin and Alana had a joint party that started in Scottsdale with a scavenger hunt all around town, complete with Hummer limos.  Hank and I skipped that activity in favor of stopping by the party later in the evening (we're such old people sometimes) but it was fun to hear all about the wild day our friends had. After leaving Alana's house we went over to Canteen on Mill Ave. in Tempe to meet up with Sarah and friends, and we had a great night celebrating her as well!

It was weird because earlier in the day I popped over to CVS to pick up some cards, and found myself looking at the "sweet 16" cards in serious amazement. I've written about turning 30 probably more times than necessary, but I don't think it was until Saturday afternoon that it really hit me. For some reason those cards made me realize just how long ago my "sweet 16" actually was, and I think I probably stood in that section of the cards for 20 minutes too long, staring wistfully off into space, remembering my 16-year-old self, my sky-blue VW Passat, and how I thought I knew everything. It's insane that was over 15 years ago. Where did the time go? I swear, sometimes I still feel like I'm a teenager and I don't even know how I got here. Deep thoughts from the card aisle, I guess.

But anyway, yay for birthday fun. But not yay for me not taking any photos the entire night with my regular camera. So in lieu of those I have some iphone photos to share from the weekend, as much as I hate to share yet another IG collage. I prefer real, pretty photos to the washed out graininess of phone pictures, but beggars can't be choosers I guess. ;) I'm happy to at least have these.

I hope you had a great weekend! xoxo

Henry kills me with his cuteness // family photo // a delicious. super healthy pizza at my Mom's // Sar and me //

Auntie Lo and H. shopping at Whole Foods // heading out on Sunday morning // Sunday dinner - garden

fresh veggies and quinoa // some of my favorite people - Nat and Sar // Grandpa, Grammy and Henry

A little update...and a little sugar!

I call this one, "baby-wrangling" or, "I can't get my 15-month old to take a photo. Ever."

It's Thursday afternoon and Henry and I just got back from a long walk around the neighborhood. It's unseasonably warm today so it was nice to take advantage of our lovely fake-spring weather and spend some time at the park. We almost always get a big March snowstorm so I'm not going to get too comfortable in this great weather just yet, even though I want to! This week has just flown by, and I am so excited about this weekend. Like I mentioned a few days ago we have three newly-turned-30 friends to celebrate and Saturday is going to be a busy but fun day attending a few different birthday parties. Can't wait.

Other than that it's been a pretty typical week, if you add in a crazy, teething baby most days. Although there is one notable thing that went on...I decided that because I felt so good, I would eat some dark chocolate (with sea salt, mind you. AKA the best chocolate in the world) so I did. You get that logic? I feel fantastic so I decide to indulge in the one thing I stopped eating, causing me to feel fantastic. Makes total sense, right? ha. But really, it was delicious, and I ate a whole bar and a half. AH! And I totally felt terrible afterward, not because I ate it, but because I hadn't had sugar in so long that it made me feel sick and almost hung-over in a way.  It was really interesting though because it made me realize that I absolute want to keep up with eating this way, and totally validated me doing so. But at the same time, that chocolate was the best chocolate I've ever had (food just tastes so much better these days) and I am going to treat myself when I want it...just not eat a million pounds of it.

So other than my great chocolate indulgence of 2012 life is good. Today is one of my best friend's birthday (love you Suki!), the weather is gorgeous, we got in some exercise and park time, and we're paying a visit to Hank's Grandma tonight. It's a great day and I am looking forward to curling up with a new book tonight. I'm going to choose one from my Amazon recommendations and I'm really excited- I've been looking forward to it all day actually. Oh, my thrilling life! ;)

xoxo

Thoughts On Change

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been in the most introspective, analytical mood ever.  Maybe it's because Henry just turned one in November, maybe it's because these are the last months before I hit the big 3-0, who knows...but I've been thinking a lot about the past few years and everything I've learned. 2011 was such a year of growth- obviously having a child is a huge part of that- but I think it goes beyond just becoming a Mom.

The other night before bed I spent an hour or so reading back through the archives here.  Even though this blog is only a few years old, reading some of my earlier entries made me laugh (and cringe). I sounded so naive, so idealistic...and I think this past year has really carried me into a place of reality, with myself and with others. I think for a long time I was still figuring out who I was- and really, do we ever know? As expected I'm still learning something new everyday, but I definitely know the kind of person I want to be- and more than anything that person is positive, loving, and kind in all situations. It's simple really- I want to be my best self, and I want to surround myself with positive people who are also working towards the same.

I've had so many long discussions with Hank about the intricacies of personality; about how we have these things ingrained in us that are so difficult to change. Possible, yes. But often very hard. As far as me, I have things I am always working on. Take a positive attitude for example: some days it comes naturally, but other days it's a decision, and some days I don't really even want to expend the energy to get there. Is that weird? It's like I know I'm in a bad mood and it's a simple fix, but I just continue to go along in my negativity rather than change. I'll be fully aware of it but yet do nothing to shift it. It's interesting to me, to be totally self-aware but yet still not be able to change exactly when you'd like to. I know change comes gradually through repeated effort to get there, but it's still interesting to think about how amazing the human mind is, both in its willingness to change and stubbornness not to.

What works for me is looking at life on a day by day basis. I'm a huge big-picture thinker and I'm always dreaming of the future, but when I know I need to work on something it's important for me to stay grounded and focused on the now. Cutting out sugar was hard in the beginning, but I took it day by day and all of a sudden I find myself finishing up a month of sugar-free living, and I feel proud of this accomplishment. So right now I'm just taking each day for what it is, a chance to be the best person, wife, and mother I can be; a daily chance to achieve small goals that eventually work into the bigger picture. I know that if yesterday I found myself in a negative place, today I can change my attitude and be kinder to myself and those around me. I know that if I get into a disagreement, if I didn't make good food choices, if I was more lazy than productive, then right now I can do it differently. And doing this day after day, making small decisions to be better, leads to positivity being a part of the majority of your days. Then weeks. Then months...

Most of all I'm trying to be kinder to myself. I'm a perfectionist by nature but I'm learning that nothing will ever work out to be exactly how I planned or pictured. And that's okay. I'm not a fortune-teller, so any firm expectation I have in my mind will never be met, because it's impossible to see what lies ahead. All I can do is keep working on little things everyday, accepting myself, and moving positively forward. It's exciting really, seeing changes, and totally satisfying to take a step back and know that you are in fact accomplishing goals you've set out for yourself, no matter how long it takes.

So with that said, is there anything you find yourself working on, on a daily basis? Do you have anything about yourself you want or need to change but have a hard time doing so? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks for reading. xoxo

3 thoughts on a Wednesday night

a typical scene at our house- a crazed 14-month old running wild and throwing things in the dining room. ;)

3 thoughts:

1. Hello! Three days later and that awful food poisoning is finally out of here. Thank you universe! Now I know I have the tendency to be a bit overdramatic but I have to say one more time- that was pretty horrible. I've never felt so sick in my life and I fear that I am forever turned off of roasted vegetables.  I got sick from a trio of vegan tacos, where you choose three different fillings. I got the broccoli, seasonal greens, and the mushrooms. The only thing I ate that was different than everyone else was the mushrooms, so I'm thinking it had to be them. Today thought I'm finally feeling better and managed to eat some normal food outside of the Ezekial English Muffins and butter I was living off of. I can't really complain though because English Muffins and butter are pretty amazing, wouldn't you agree? Yum. But Henry and I did actually leave the house finally and spent our afternoon doing some much-needed food shopping and I'm feeling a lot better now that I have some sense of order around these parts.

2. I'm really enjoying getting back to making personal blog posts again. I know that I never really stopped, but I definitely think I wasn't doing it as much as I used to. I had this moment a few weeks back where I found myself unsubscribing to a lot of the blogs I once called my favorites. I just didn't enjoy them as much as I used to, and I thought about why, and realized it was because they were severely lacking in personal posts. If you're a long time reader of this blog you know that I always keep a good balance between sharing and oversharing, but I think as a blog gets bigger it's easy to move all the way over to hardly sharing at all. And then what fun is that? I want to read blogs I find interesting; I want to see pretty pictures of peoples' everyday lives, I want to learn about things I don't know about, hear opinions from all sides of the spectrum. I want to discover new music, new ideas and new things; I want to leave feeling happy and inspired. So when I found myself unfollowing so many blogs I once loved, I looked back at my own and realized that it was very important to me to keep writing about my life, and never get lost in all of the other stuff. So that's where I'm at now. That was a mouthful, but to sum it up: I'm happy to be posting more about my life. And even though it's all just a little piece of the bigger picture, it makes me happy to do so. And I hope you're enjoying it too!

3. Some really awesome things about today-

• spending close to an hour today talking to one of my favorite people in the entire world, my sweet Emily.
• reading all of the #SScleaneating tweets. They're incredibly inspiring and I've already found quite a few new blogs and recipes to try out.
• lots of laughter while playing the "chase game" with Henry. It's just what it sounds like- Henry chases me and then will run into my arms for the biggest hug. Yes, it's as cute as it sounds and yes, my heart melts a million times every day. 

Happy Wednesday night, friends! Hope tomorrow is amazing. xo

Currently.

Currently...

Obsessing over: this no-sugar thing! I LOVE IT and have never, ever felt better in my life. Sounds crazy, and I guess it is a pretty crazy thing to say, but it's true. I can't wait to share more about it in a post tomorrow.

Working on: my fitness. Remember that Fergie song? haha. But really, lately I've had such a fire burning under me to workout. I attribute this to my new way of eating, and I've also been trying out new things at the gym and I'm feeling super motivated to be the healthiest I can be. Don't you love that? Whenever I get myself going to new group classes I always feel this way. And speaking of group classes...

Thinking about: Henry and his freakout this morning at our YMCA's child watch program. About two mornings a week I meet my other Mom friends for Body Pump or random aerobics class. The classes are so hard and the best workout, and I like that Henry is able to interact with different kids and the two caregivers in the room right next to the fitness room. It's a great program and I feel really comfortable having him in there for that hour, but the past three times I've come back the ladies let me know he's been crying and won't stop. When I leave he seems like fine, today he didn't even look up when I left, but it was so upsetting to walk in today after class and see him trying to catch his breath from crying so hard. I don't know what to do- I'm thinking I should just do shorter amounts of time until he is really comfortable- maybe 15 minutes then come back in? I am open to any suggestions. I also am okay with just not going...maybe he's just not ready. But then at the same time I feel like by avoiding situations like this it only reinforces his separation anxiety. Veteran Moms, any ideas?

Anticipating: San Francisco! We are headed to visit one of our dearest friends Alex for the weekend and I'm so excited. I can't wait to be back in one of my favorite cities with some of my favorite people. I anticipate a lot of eating at fabulous restaurants, sightseeing and enjoying being in a different place for a couple of days. It's going to be a short trip but I can't wait! I also feel lucky to have great friends who house and dog sit for us too.

Listening to: Drake's Take Care. Every time I post about listening to rap on Twitter or Instagram people are always shocked. I don't know why but it's funny to me because 75% of the time that's what I'm listening to. Hank often makes fun of me saying that my readers would laugh if they knew that most of the content of Sometimes Sweet has been written to the sounds of hip hop. I remind him that I also love my folk-ish rock and country too, but I think he just gets a kick out of the fact that I know the words to so many of my tough gangsta rap songs.

Eating: Wasa crackers and almond butter. Delicious.

Wishing: That everyone I knew was on Instagram. That's a weird wish, I know, but I really, really love that app. It's probably my favorite thing about my iPhone and the internet. I think it's just so cool to be able to keep in touch with friends via photos of their day, and see what they're up too. It's fascinating.  I think it will be even more fun once Android users can get the app too. My user name on IG is danihampton, find me and say hi!

How about you? What are you up to today?

Hi!

 

currently reading: Steve Martin's memoir "Born Standing Up." Good stuff.

I just wanted to say hi. I kind of feel like sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the features and the weekly posts and the this and the that...so I thought I would just ramble and write for a little while. Henry is napping (more on this in a bit) and I'm taking a little break from checking things off my to-do list to just sit here for a moment. Yesterday was a busy day so it's nice to take it slow this morning and get everything done.  We woke up a little early yesterday and went to a bootcamp style "Pump Iron" class at the Y (I'm feeling it this morning), then Henry and I headed over to the library for story time with our Mom/baby friends. I've talked about it before but every Tuesday our library puts on a fun morning full of books and interactive songs and games. We've been going since he was just a tiny baby, but are only able to make it on and off whenever I decide to push Henry's normal 9:30ish nap back. However, now that he's down to one nap a day we can go every week.  Or so I thought! After trying it out, I really think that one nap a day is not good for H. He's just so cranky and I feel like he isn't getting as much sleep as he'd like. Each morning we've done the one nap, Henry will just lay down on the floor around 10am like he wants to go to sleep! He'll get insanely cranky and show all of his typical "I'm really, really tired Mom" signs. I thought I'd give it a few days to see if he'd ease into it but I decided to switch us back today. He went down for that first nap immediately so I know it's the right thing. So, goodbye to all of the mid-morning activities I dreamed of us attending. ha. It's okay though, I'm just happy that he will be happier.

Oh! I suppose I should talk a little bit more about this sugar-free thing I'm doing. Today is day five and I'm going strong. I asked Hank this morning to be sure, but yes, my face is definitely clearing up. My right side is almost totally clear and although my left side is not perfect, I feel like everything is healing. I'm really happy. I imagine that in a few more weeks I should see even better improvements. And although it's been less than a week, I'm sleeping so much better. Last night I went to bed a little after 10 and woke up at 7:30. Pretty good considering since having Henry I am the lightest sleeper in the world. I am missing sugar a bit though, and yesterday I had a strong craving for some brownies (damn you Pinterest!), but other than that it hasn't been a big deal.  I am a little surprised though that I haven't seen my hungry-raving-bitch side come out while doing this. A few years ago I tried to do a detox of sorts and I was pretty much intolerable by my own admission. I really, really like food and I'm one of those people that get totally irritable (see also: rude, easily annoyed, cranky) if I don't eat. Although I think in this case I can pretty much eat whatever I want, besides sugar.  There are tons of choices so at least if I'm hungry I can go snack on some lettuce...or something. ;)

The only thing I am a little conflicted about is my upcoming trip to San Francisco. We're visiting a friend who makes sweets for a living, and I'd love to indulge and enjoy his creations. I'm teetering between feeling that I should just stick with my plan and then feeling like I need to live my life. Ugh, I don't know. I feel like maybe I can try some things but not go crazy? But then don't think it would really worth it and that I should finish the 6 weeks perfectly sugar-free. So I don't know. Welcome to the craziness that is my over-thinking mind. And I also realize that if my biggest problem is contemplating eating some gelato then life is pretty good at the moment. Thankful for that.

Soo, other than the great sugar blackout (white out?) of 2012 life is trucking along. Things I've learned this week: avoid Pinterest food boards for the next 5 weeks (especially any sort of dessert recipe), some Moms are just really rude and are unfortunately raising equally rude children (observations while at storytime), and I LOVE LEMON LARABARS (because I miss them so much).

So how about you- how are you doing?
xoxo

A Little Update!

It's Thursday, Hank is home from his business trip, and all is well in the world. Kind of. Today while half walking/half running, Henry fell and hit his mouth. I was almost able to grab him before he hit but I didn't make it in time and he now has an upper lip that rivals Angelina Jolie's. Poor baby. It's horrible to see your little one in pain, and I feel terrible that it happened. From what my Mom friends tell me though it's only the beginning with a little boy (or really any rambunctious toddler).

Outside of Henry's tumble it was a pretty good day though. Miss Madeline got a bath and nail clip and I watched an entire episode of Teen Mom without crying. Or throwing anything at the television. Yes!

Some awesome things going on in my world right now:

1) Transitioning Henry from two naps to one.  Before he was napping from 9am-11am and again 2pm-4pm. That's a lot of sleep but more recently the two hour naps were becoming shorter and shorter, and he was getting increasingly harder to get down for that early nap. It was also a little difficult because all of the fun baby stuff (story time at the library, Mommy and Me, our playgroup) happened during that first nap. I usually would just push it and still go, but that was never fun in the end. So, for reasons beneficial to both of us, I decided to make the switch. I think it was the right choice though, because for the past few days he's been sleeping 12pm-3pm. 

2) My appointment with a naturopath tomorrow. Since having Henry my body has been all wacky. My skin is not at its best, and although I'm sure it's hormones, I just feel unbalanced. I haven't been to the actual doctor in years, and I also think it's time to get a check up. So...I took the recommendations of a few friends and tomorrow is my first visit. It's an hour long intensive appointment and I'm looking forward to seeing what she says! I'll keep you guys posted.

3) The Bachelor. First of all, I know how ridiculous it is to even include this on an "awesome things going on in my world" list. And secondly, I understand this isn't exactly quality programming...but I can't help it, I am such a Bachelor fan. I've been watching both The Bachelor and The Bachelorette for years and years and I always enjoy every episode. For the past few seasons Adie and I have spent Monday nights at my house indulging in our favorite show (and snacks and girl talk) and this season is shaping up to be a good one! So much drama! So many psychos! Let's talk about the ladies for a second- the model chick? She's the worst! And how about Blakeley? Both crazy.  It's a trainwreck up in there!  Do any of you watch this show? Who is your favorite so far? Mine fave is definitely Kacie, who was date #1.  But really, let me know all about your opinions on the season- I'm super intrigued. And if you hate the Bachelor let me know too. ;)

I'm signing off but I'll leave you with this fun photo I put together using the Diptic app on my iPhone the other day.  The first baby is me, Henry's in the middle, and Hank is on the right! I can see my facial shape in Henry but I feel like he is the spitting image of Hank! Neat, right?

xoxo

Old friends & Spotify

Sometimes all you need is a night with one of your oldest and dearest friends, reminiscing about college and talking about how fast life goes by and how beautiful it all is. So thankful for this girl and so thankful for friends like her. Terra was my "little sis" in our Pi Phi days and we have the most special bond. You know those friends that have seen you in every stage of your life, seen you at your best (and worst), and love you all the same? That's this girl. Love her, and I love that we got to have a fun night together while she was in town from Denver.

Now I'm in bed, enjoying my (and Hank's) newest obsession...Spotify. I think we're a little behind on this, but seriously, I don't know how I survived without it. Okay, that's dramatic. But it is pretty great. My friends Alana, Nate and Shirley turned us onto it at a party last weekend and described it as being part Pandora, part Napster, part social networking beast. I was sold when they explained that there are no ads or breaks in music, and you can listen to ANYTHING your heart desires with no limit. Granted, the premium account is $10 a month but considering how much I listen to music it's a small price to pay. Today I've been on quite the 90s kick and my main music of choice this evening been TLC. Remember CrazySexyCool? So good. And so junior high. Next up is Aaliyah's "Back and Forth" and Blackstreet's "No Diggity." And I might even round it out with a little "My Boo" by Ghostown DJs ;)

With that said, I have a couple of questions for you. One, have you tried Spotify yet? What do you think? And two, do you have any must-listen-to bands you'd like to recommend to me? I love all sorts of music from rap to country, classical to metal.

Happy four days before Christmas!