Today is for...

Today is for...

-making a trip to Costco. I've been avoiding this for the past couple of weeks and this morning my procrastinating self realized we are down to four diapers. Oops! So we are off to one of my least favorite shopping stops. I'm not sure why I dislike it so much- when I was younger I used to love it actually. Huge carts, those magical free samples, and that $1.50 hot dog/soda combo? Count me in! But now the people who push each other out of the way to get those "magical" samples kind of stress me out, and my boring, adult self would not enjoy eating a hot dog, and definitely not drinking a soda. My, how times have changed. But Costco-complaining aside, today's first order of business and taking a little trip there.

-finishing up my summer reading list to share with all of you. Last night I got lost on Amazon, down a worm hole of "recommendations for you," then "people who bought this, also bought this," clicking around for a couple of hours. I found SO many great books I can't wait to read this summer, and I can't wait to share them. So look for that post later tonight or tomorrow evening.

-spending all our time inside. Due to the fire up here in Northern Arizona that is continuing to grow, our air is full of smoke and it's just not feasible to spend time outside. We have to sleep with our windows closed and the second you step outside you can even see the smoke in the air. It's so sad to think about our beautiful forests being destroyed. Here's to hoping they get it under control soon.

-setting my intention and following through. Every hot yoga class my instructor encourages us to set an intention for our practice. I usually work towards being kind to myself- doing the best I can and just letting it be what it is. If I'm really shaky or have trouble with a pose or flow I try to accept it and move through it. Sometimes in class I'll find my inner critic speaking up and letting my mind wander, but lately I've been doing so much better at just being and doing, rather than analyzing it. Other times my intention is to relax, to focus on my breath, or to simply just enjoy. I love the idea and have been implementing it into my mornings also. My alarm usually goes off at 5am, and while I lie in bed I set an intention for the day. Lately I've been really working on loving others- accepting people rather than making snap judgements, trying to see the best in people rather than the worst. Sometimes I find myself being judgey in my mind and it's upsetting- it's something I'm working on and I've found that really focusing on it as a day-to-day intention has been great. This morning for example I woke up and decided that today my intention is to be loving, both to myself and everyone around me. Simple and a wonderful thing to focus on.

So that's my day today! Henry is finishing up his breakfast, and then we are off to Costco to get those diapers. Wish us luck so we don't come home with a 100-pack of frozen waffles or a new leaf blower. Or worse, a pack of two leaf blowers. Because you know how Costco is- suddenly a huge bulk bag of this or that seems like a good idea when blinded by the florescent lighting and lost amidst the giant shelves! And on a side but related note, we've tried so many different kinds of disposable diapers and the Costco diapers are really the best. I love them. Just had to throw that out there.

Happy day to you!

A little update...and a little sugar!

I call this one, "baby-wrangling" or, "I can't get my 15-month old to take a photo. Ever."

It's Thursday afternoon and Henry and I just got back from a long walk around the neighborhood. It's unseasonably warm today so it was nice to take advantage of our lovely fake-spring weather and spend some time at the park. We almost always get a big March snowstorm so I'm not going to get too comfortable in this great weather just yet, even though I want to! This week has just flown by, and I am so excited about this weekend. Like I mentioned a few days ago we have three newly-turned-30 friends to celebrate and Saturday is going to be a busy but fun day attending a few different birthday parties. Can't wait.

Other than that it's been a pretty typical week, if you add in a crazy, teething baby most days. Although there is one notable thing that went on...I decided that because I felt so good, I would eat some dark chocolate (with sea salt, mind you. AKA the best chocolate in the world) so I did. You get that logic? I feel fantastic so I decide to indulge in the one thing I stopped eating, causing me to feel fantastic. Makes total sense, right? ha. But really, it was delicious, and I ate a whole bar and a half. AH! And I totally felt terrible afterward, not because I ate it, but because I hadn't had sugar in so long that it made me feel sick and almost hung-over in a way.  It was really interesting though because it made me realize that I absolute want to keep up with eating this way, and totally validated me doing so. But at the same time, that chocolate was the best chocolate I've ever had (food just tastes so much better these days) and I am going to treat myself when I want it...just not eat a million pounds of it.

So other than my great chocolate indulgence of 2012 life is good. Today is one of my best friend's birthday (love you Suki!), the weather is gorgeous, we got in some exercise and park time, and we're paying a visit to Hank's Grandma tonight. It's a great day and I am looking forward to curling up with a new book tonight. I'm going to choose one from my Amazon recommendations and I'm really excited- I've been looking forward to it all day actually. Oh, my thrilling life! ;)

xoxo

Thoughts On Change

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been in the most introspective, analytical mood ever.  Maybe it's because Henry just turned one in November, maybe it's because these are the last months before I hit the big 3-0, who knows...but I've been thinking a lot about the past few years and everything I've learned. 2011 was such a year of growth- obviously having a child is a huge part of that- but I think it goes beyond just becoming a Mom.

The other night before bed I spent an hour or so reading back through the archives here.  Even though this blog is only a few years old, reading some of my earlier entries made me laugh (and cringe). I sounded so naive, so idealistic...and I think this past year has really carried me into a place of reality, with myself and with others. I think for a long time I was still figuring out who I was- and really, do we ever know? As expected I'm still learning something new everyday, but I definitely know the kind of person I want to be- and more than anything that person is positive, loving, and kind in all situations. It's simple really- I want to be my best self, and I want to surround myself with positive people who are also working towards the same.

I've had so many long discussions with Hank about the intricacies of personality; about how we have these things ingrained in us that are so difficult to change. Possible, yes. But often very hard. As far as me, I have things I am always working on. Take a positive attitude for example: some days it comes naturally, but other days it's a decision, and some days I don't really even want to expend the energy to get there. Is that weird? It's like I know I'm in a bad mood and it's a simple fix, but I just continue to go along in my negativity rather than change. I'll be fully aware of it but yet do nothing to shift it. It's interesting to me, to be totally self-aware but yet still not be able to change exactly when you'd like to. I know change comes gradually through repeated effort to get there, but it's still interesting to think about how amazing the human mind is, both in its willingness to change and stubbornness not to.

What works for me is looking at life on a day by day basis. I'm a huge big-picture thinker and I'm always dreaming of the future, but when I know I need to work on something it's important for me to stay grounded and focused on the now. Cutting out sugar was hard in the beginning, but I took it day by day and all of a sudden I find myself finishing up a month of sugar-free living, and I feel proud of this accomplishment. So right now I'm just taking each day for what it is, a chance to be the best person, wife, and mother I can be; a daily chance to achieve small goals that eventually work into the bigger picture. I know that if yesterday I found myself in a negative place, today I can change my attitude and be kinder to myself and those around me. I know that if I get into a disagreement, if I didn't make good food choices, if I was more lazy than productive, then right now I can do it differently. And doing this day after day, making small decisions to be better, leads to positivity being a part of the majority of your days. Then weeks. Then months...

Most of all I'm trying to be kinder to myself. I'm a perfectionist by nature but I'm learning that nothing will ever work out to be exactly how I planned or pictured. And that's okay. I'm not a fortune-teller, so any firm expectation I have in my mind will never be met, because it's impossible to see what lies ahead. All I can do is keep working on little things everyday, accepting myself, and moving positively forward. It's exciting really, seeing changes, and totally satisfying to take a step back and know that you are in fact accomplishing goals you've set out for yourself, no matter how long it takes.

So with that said, is there anything you find yourself working on, on a daily basis? Do you have anything about yourself you want or need to change but have a hard time doing so? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks for reading. xoxo

Hi!

 

currently reading: Steve Martin's memoir "Born Standing Up." Good stuff.

I just wanted to say hi. I kind of feel like sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the features and the weekly posts and the this and the that...so I thought I would just ramble and write for a little while. Henry is napping (more on this in a bit) and I'm taking a little break from checking things off my to-do list to just sit here for a moment. Yesterday was a busy day so it's nice to take it slow this morning and get everything done.  We woke up a little early yesterday and went to a bootcamp style "Pump Iron" class at the Y (I'm feeling it this morning), then Henry and I headed over to the library for story time with our Mom/baby friends. I've talked about it before but every Tuesday our library puts on a fun morning full of books and interactive songs and games. We've been going since he was just a tiny baby, but are only able to make it on and off whenever I decide to push Henry's normal 9:30ish nap back. However, now that he's down to one nap a day we can go every week.  Or so I thought! After trying it out, I really think that one nap a day is not good for H. He's just so cranky and I feel like he isn't getting as much sleep as he'd like. Each morning we've done the one nap, Henry will just lay down on the floor around 10am like he wants to go to sleep! He'll get insanely cranky and show all of his typical "I'm really, really tired Mom" signs. I thought I'd give it a few days to see if he'd ease into it but I decided to switch us back today. He went down for that first nap immediately so I know it's the right thing. So, goodbye to all of the mid-morning activities I dreamed of us attending. ha. It's okay though, I'm just happy that he will be happier.

Oh! I suppose I should talk a little bit more about this sugar-free thing I'm doing. Today is day five and I'm going strong. I asked Hank this morning to be sure, but yes, my face is definitely clearing up. My right side is almost totally clear and although my left side is not perfect, I feel like everything is healing. I'm really happy. I imagine that in a few more weeks I should see even better improvements. And although it's been less than a week, I'm sleeping so much better. Last night I went to bed a little after 10 and woke up at 7:30. Pretty good considering since having Henry I am the lightest sleeper in the world. I am missing sugar a bit though, and yesterday I had a strong craving for some brownies (damn you Pinterest!), but other than that it hasn't been a big deal.  I am a little surprised though that I haven't seen my hungry-raving-bitch side come out while doing this. A few years ago I tried to do a detox of sorts and I was pretty much intolerable by my own admission. I really, really like food and I'm one of those people that get totally irritable (see also: rude, easily annoyed, cranky) if I don't eat. Although I think in this case I can pretty much eat whatever I want, besides sugar.  There are tons of choices so at least if I'm hungry I can go snack on some lettuce...or something. ;)

The only thing I am a little conflicted about is my upcoming trip to San Francisco. We're visiting a friend who makes sweets for a living, and I'd love to indulge and enjoy his creations. I'm teetering between feeling that I should just stick with my plan and then feeling like I need to live my life. Ugh, I don't know. I feel like maybe I can try some things but not go crazy? But then don't think it would really worth it and that I should finish the 6 weeks perfectly sugar-free. So I don't know. Welcome to the craziness that is my over-thinking mind. And I also realize that if my biggest problem is contemplating eating some gelato then life is pretty good at the moment. Thankful for that.

Soo, other than the great sugar blackout (white out?) of 2012 life is trucking along. Things I've learned this week: avoid Pinterest food boards for the next 5 weeks (especially any sort of dessert recipe), some Moms are just really rude and are unfortunately raising equally rude children (observations while at storytime), and I LOVE LEMON LARABARS (because I miss them so much).

So how about you- how are you doing?
xoxo